We are not just social animals. We are unable to survive on our own.
I’m pretty certain this is because of our consciousness as humans of the paradox of the cosmos, its significance as well as its void. Without each other’s love, we could sink into the depths of despair of unknowing. I need you as you need me. One person eats the food while the other one looks out for danger.
For years I have written in private journals. For nearly forty years of my life, the journals helped me process daily life. I am so grateful for them. It’s possible that they also caused me to overthink things. I thank and also curse Monsieur Keplinger for feeding us that steady diet of Existentialist angst. His French classes most definitely helped to grow my overwrought thoughts.
Overthinking is a condition which affects those of us who’ve grown up on capitalism’s pedestal. We take for granted the stolen land and resources and the violence under the surface of everything. We grow up oblivious to the violence that created our culture so that we should have space and time to pontificate, theorize, agonize and even complain about our troubled, privileged lives. Yes, we are usually afflicted with the condition of overthinking. Overthinking most definitely became my coping mechanism. And I have books and books of it.
I decided to create this blog as a way to imagine an audience and to curtail my propensity to overthink.
Three years ago I drove for Lyft, for one month. I picked up this young tech worker woman. She complained, “I can’t understand why people publish blogs that are just like daily journals. I’m a journalist, so that doesn’t make sense to me. Why would you publish your private journal?!” Her words affected me. I don’t know why I let this stranger, this Lyft rider in North Oakland whose name or face I will never remember, affect me so much. But who was she? But her words held a power over me for some reason, and I felt self-conscious about blogging for several years.
And here I am, back to journaling, this time in public. Whatever! I say. It’s ok.
This time I won’t be getting lost in my own thoughts. This time I’ll also be of service to the world and to others.
Leave me a comment, my fellow monkeys. I need you.
Wendy Lea Writing 